Book Spotlight: Relationship Solutions

It’s Non-Fiction November and I am happy to share Relationship Solutions by Sonia Frontera! I am also happy to tell you that this book is now available for review!

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Relationship Solutions

Publication Date: October 27, 2020

Genre: Non-Fiction

Your personal GPS to freedom and joy!

Your marital troubles are not the end of the road but a detour on the road to happiness.

Speed forward from heartache to healing!

Whether you’re unhappily married, on the road to divorce recovery or somewhere in between, this inspiring guide will lead you step by step through a journey of self-discovery and personal transformation, so you can create the happiness you deserve–with your spouse . . . or alone.

Reach your destination and enjoy your best life now!

SONIAS~3

Now Available on Amazon!

About the Author

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Sonia Frontera is a divorce lawyer with a heart. She is the survivor of a toxic marriage who is now happily remarried. Sonia integrates the wisdom acquired through her personal journey, her professional experience and the lessons of the world’s leading transformational teachers and translates it into guidance that is insightful and practical. She is a Certified Canfield Success Principles Trainer who offers workshops and retreats.

Sonia Frontera | Twitter | linkedIn | Youtube | Facebook

Giveaway: Win one of two $15 Amazon Gift Cards!

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If you wish to request a copy of Relationship Solutions for review, please contact shanannigans.readsandreels@gmail.com 

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It’s that time of year again!! Time to join all your other reindeer in the Reindeer Readathon and compete to get as many points as you can over the month of December! There will be 5 different teams and you will get sorted into one of them! All of the prompts will be below but they will also be emailed to you when you sign up! Check out the video below:

Book Review: When Life is Full of It

I may have been moving to a new house but our guy Chris has been keeping the reviews coming while I am away from the office. This time, he reviewed When Life Is Full Of It: Antidote for your Mind by Stan Belyshev.

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Warning, this book is not intended to tickle your selfish ego with more motivational encouragements, give you an essential oil massage or to give you simple principles on changing your attitude so you can claim your participation trophy at the end. Heck no! My goal is to slap you with a reality check of common sense by throwing you into the boot camp called LIFE! And with that said, life can be defined in a short sentence: It’s not what happens; it’s what you do with it.”

This is a motivational book that uses aphorisms along with inspirational profiles from people who changed the world. For me, the biggest inspiration is that Stan Belyshev, tired of his life’s direction, sat in a hotel room to write this book. As far as I can tell he had no background in any motivational-related studies when he started writing. He’s gone on to be an entrepreneur and motivational speaker.

In the book, there are biographies of people who changed the world, or who demonstrated the power of courage and forgiveness. Among them are the financially successful. Biographies of those people aren’t really inspirational. Many of them amassed their wealth by exploiting workers, and the ones left alive continue to fight against giving workers a living wage or benefits.

Another reason why biographies, in general, aren’t always inspirational is because motivational biographies rely on a cognitive bias called survivorship bias. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Survivorship_bias

E.g., During WWII planes were returning from missions with bullet holes in the wings, tail, and belly. The air force decided to armour those parts. A mathematician stopped them. He said the planes survived despite bullet holes so those parts of the plane weren’t as crucial. He said they needed to discover what happened to the planes that didn’t return. Those planes had holes in the cockpit and engine areas. These areas were more crucial to survival so those areas needed reinforcement. This saved lives and more planes returned. If they had just relied on the information from the survivors all their reinforcements on the belly and tail wouldn’t reduce causalities.

Motivational books that derive advice from the successes are putting “armour on belly and tail”. Successful people say they are successful because of their habits, attitudes, and strategies. However, for every successful or inspirational person who did these things, there are another 1000 people who did exactly the same things yet failed.

We’d learn more about success by examining why people failed despite doing everything the successful did. Incidentally, the biggest predictor of financial success is being born into a rich family with highly placed connections. You can ignore all the inspirational strategies and still be financially successful.

Mixed in with biographies are aphorisms in bullet form, most of which will be familiar. Aphorisms without context, though, are as enlightening as a fortune cookie.

An improvement would be to have chapters devoted to one aphorism, and then demonstrate how to evaluate it for practicality in your circumstances. For example, “Never give up no matter how many times you are rejected”. Detail the types of rejection (you, your work, your ideas, your strategies). Add information from counselling and psychology that review the nuances of not giving up vs altering strategies vs yes, you really need to give up. Look into how cognitive biases and logical fallacies keep us “putting good money after bad” (to use an aphorism). Explain when to persist, when to stop, when to move diagonal, when to jag. (Cop Land: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nifWUdAZRcY)

For example, I didn’t achieve my dream of being a marine biologist. So, I “gave up” and became a terrestrial biologist. That led me to teach invertebrate zoology, which includes a great deal of marine biology. It led to work in the Arctic, in the mountains, on the tundra, in deserts, AND in marine environments. I obtained a broader range of experiences and still ended up doing marine work as a terrestrial biologist. I gave up (or “went diagonal”), but found more than expected on the new path. In the words of cowboy philosopher Kenny Rogers, “You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em; know when to fold ‘em…”

Cognitive psychology and counselling fields explore the ways we make bad decisions; they suggest strategies to minimize errors in our thinking, and how to avoid cognitive pitfalls. Experts like Richard Wiseman and his Quirkology bring this information to the viewers in entertaining ways. Cognitive psychologists like Stephen Lewandowsky work with scientists to aid them in communicating their findings with the general public so there’s less misunderstanding on important science issues. Incorporate the work of these and many other experts.

In a small sideline, Belyshev falls into the confirmation bias trap. Confirmation bias occurs when you notice things that support what you already believe, and disregard the things that contradict what you already believe.

He writes he’s worried for the future, Because we are witnessing a fragile generation which cannot handle a little heat, called reality. That’s why so many people call them “snowflakes.”

So “many” (citation needed) people call them snowflakes because that’s a lazy stereotype that relies on confirmation bias. You can point to every single generation in existence and find some examples who are “snowflakes”. Anti-war protestors in the 60s and 70s had their hardiness questioned too.

The two generations born since the 1980s (Millennials and Generation Z) are fighting to fix a broken political system and an ailing earth that they’ve inherited. They are driven to change things for themselves and their children.

I’m not from those generations. However, I know how resilient, informed, and hard-working they are because they’ve been my classmates when I’ve returned to school. They’ve been my students when I was a professor (five different universities and colleges). They’ve been my coworkers at consulting firms. They understand issues on both global and local scales; they coordinate with people in countries around the world to enact change. They’re more politically involved than any other generation including the 70s generation, and many countries have elected their “youngest ever” politicians. Look at the social change they’re forcing with Climate Marches, Equality Marches, Black Lives Matter, and Me Too protests. Now that’s inspirational.

A 52-year old Navy Seal who went to Yale thinking his classmates would be sheltered snowflakes came to respect them as well. https://gen.medium.com/my-semester-with-the-snowflakes-888285f0e662

He’s also optimistic about the younger generation.

Let me assure you, I have not met one kid who fits that description [snowflake]. None of the kids I’ve met seems to think that they are “special” any more than any other 18–22-year-old. …

If this place is peopled by “snowflakes” I’m proudly one of them. I’m a snowflake with a purple heart.

While Belyshev’s motivation to write his book is inspirational, the book itself lacks the depth, research, and context that would make it a thought-provoking read. Perhaps a younger reader may see it differently.

Book Rating: 2/5

You can buy this book on Amazon and find it on Goodreads.

Disclaimer: This book was sent to us in ebook format by the author to read and give our honest review.


Check out Lisa King’s brand new novel called The Vanishing Hour which is available now on Amazon! She is a Canadian author from London, Ontario and I am super excited to share the love on her new book! If you like post-apocalyptic books, then this one is for you!

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You can buy her book here: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B081ZHCPGF/



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Anyone miss concerts? I know it has been awhile since I have been to one and miss the sound of live music. Here is a video of me using concert prompts to talk about some books! Check out the video below:

Book Review: Surviving The Twenties Transformation

This book was my January TBR jar pick of the month. I have had it on my shelves for quite a long time and the fates decided on it being one I read this month. It was called Surviving the Twenties Transformation by K.L. Martin.

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Synopsis: An identity crisis is not a new concept. A midlife crisis, commonly occurring in middle-aged adults, is a time when an individual is plagued by doubts concerning his or her identity and future purpose. What you might not know, however, is that you’re just as likely to experience the same struggle in your twenties.

The media and society have traditionally taught younger generations to focus on the “surface stuff” to combat feelings of self-doubt or dissatisfaction. Once you have it all -career, friends, marriage, a home, kids -the conflict will supposedly work itself out, and you’ll eventually know who you are. Many young adults are now realizing this narrative is false. Even after achieving “success,” you may still feel unfulfilled and conflicted.

Surviving the Twenties Transformation is an informative, motivational guide that exposes “quarter-life crisis” symptoms and offers spiritual solutions: recognizing your soul, trusting in God, identifying your strengths, and replacing your false ego with your true self, your soul. Learn to listen to your intuition, and make the right choices through conscious living.

Crises will always come and go. By discovering your truest self, what drives your soul, you will gain an inner strength that will sustain you for a lifetime.

This book was not really what I expected. I was hoping that it would give me some insight into your life in your twenties and how we all kind of feel lost or feel like we don’t really know what we are doing and what will come next.

I firmly believe that it is ok to not know what you are doing and that we will all figure it out as time goes on. But this book was pumping me up, thinking it was going to be motivational and fun. It turned out being a lot about your soul and prayer and how this will help you through life. I just wasn’t really buying it. I like it when a book can make me feel like I can go forward in life with what it taught me and my life will be better for it. But this book just didn’t do that for me.

There were some parts that were a little interesting but it constantly jumped back to religion and prayer which I don’t believe is everything you need for your life to have meaning.

I think this just all comes down to my beliefs in life differing from the opinion this book is giving to the reader. I think it would resonate much more with a religious person or even a bible study group.

I just wish it had more to do with actual applications for the general public dealing with being in their twenties instead of a certain group of people.

Book Rating: 2/5

You can buy this book on Amazon and find it on Goodreads.

Disclaimer: I was sent this book in physical format by the author to read and give an honest review.


It’s the month of love and I have a new TBR pile to attempt to complete. None of them are romance books because I like to be different. Check out the TBR below!

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Book Review: Lessons From Life

New review up! This one was called Lessons From Life: Four Keys to living with more Meaning, Purpose, and Success! by Steven Darter.

Synopsis: In his deeply personal and inspirational memoir, Steve Darter asks himself the question: What is the purpose of my life? Using incredibly entertaining storytelling, Steve takes you on a journey of emotion, reflection, and insight that encourages you to think about how to live with more meaning, purpose, and success at any age–young, old, or in between.

To me, this book was just ok. I don’t know if it was because it was a self-help style of book or what but I just didn’t feel like I gained much from reading it. That being said, it is not bad. I just didn’t feel like I really got into the book like I would have liked to.

The author is very genuine in his stories about his life and how he overcame certain struggles or how he dealt with insecurities. The stories about when he was a child were entertaining. His love for his family is very strong and he represents that in a lot of his “lessons”.

I lost interest when it started to get a bit pushy with the religious stuff. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and practicing their faith but when it is pushed on others, that tends to put me off. And I found a lot of the stories got very repetitive. In the second half of the book, I would be reading one of the stories that accompany the lessons and would think, “I have already read this” or “I already know this from earlier”.

One quote I did like from this book was

The mind can be a wonderful tool if you allow it.

It is a good concept for a book. I just believe that it could use a little more fleshing out. This may also be a generational thing. I brought this book home with me when I was visiting for Thanksgiving and my mom saw this book on the coffee table. She picked it up and sat down for a bit, flipped through the chapters and read it for about 20 minutes. She seemed to like it a lot so maybe this book is just better suited for an older generation (sorry for calling you old mom).

Book Rating: 2.5/5

You can find this book on Amazon and Goodreads!

Disclaimer: This book was sent to us in physical format to read and give an honest review.


Book Review: The Wealth Taboo

We have another book review from our external reviewer Sara MacTaylor of the book The Wealth Taboo by Carlos Aguirre. Sara has been busy working away at her creations on her Etsy shop but has set some time aside to read for us.

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Synopsis: IS THE US EDUCATION SYSTEM FAILING YOU? ISN’T IT TIME YOU DISCOVER HOW THE SYSTEM WORKS YOU AND TAKES CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE?

When the education system in one of the richest countries in the world fails to teach you how to build wealth or, at the least, to have a wealthy mind, and the International Student Assessment (PISA) test demonstrates that American teens have average financial skills, you know that personal financial literacy is faulty. The education system, at all levels, teaches you to become a working bee. However, it does not teach you how to make money. YES, how to build wealth and have the lifestyle of your dreams. If you, like the average American, are part of a society that lives paycheck to paycheck, then you are a pawn of the finance system, a consumer chained by debt, allured by your false purchasing power, where ghost money is created by banks and financial institutions. A scary, shocking, and detrimental reality. You have not been prepared to understand and prevent falling into the finance system trap.

This book starts off with a very good premise, of improving the average millennial’s financial knowledge. Most of us do not receive much education at school regarding how many financial systems work, and so this is a really great idea to simplify and educate those of us lacking this essential knowledge.

Unfortunately, the execution is really lacking. He continually states the importance of improving our knowledge to improve our lives and the fact that various systems are taking advantage of the consumer, but almost never gives any concrete tips or statistics to actually improve our knowledge. Entire chapters feel like repetitions of the same lack of knowledge without actually educating the reader in that area.

This book is a great idea and touches on some great points of interest, but I feel like I didn’t learn what he was trying to teach me! I’d love some more concrete tips and tricks on how to actually improve in each of the areas he touches on. If this book gets revised I’d definitely be interested in trying this again.

Book Rating: 3/5

You can find this book on Amazon and Goodreads.

Disclaimer: This book was sent to us in ebook format to read and give an honest review.


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Book Review: Unlocking Your Business Voice

New book review!! Unlock Your Business Voice: How to speak as well as you think by Simon de Cintra. This one was done by our external reviewer Chris Connors. He has been out and about traveling but managed to send in another review during his off time.

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Synopsis: The foolproof results of a polished and professional verbal delivery illustrate how the voice can be used to achieve greater confidence, credibility, professional success, and sales in this handbook on applying voice-control techniques used by voice-over artists in business communications. From a comprehensive voice evaluation of a step-by-step voice improvement plan, a range of activities provides information on how to improve diction and articulation, speak with greater warmth and enthusiasm, and make a lasting impression. Practical tips include how to leave a voice-mail message that is 40 percent more likely to be returned and how to make outgoing messages sound professional. Insider secrets about the influence of the spoken word will help speakers acquire and practice the skills necessary to sound more credible, tell great stories, and add a more musical quality to the speech by mastering voice pitch and inflection.

In book reviewing it isn’t often a title will raise a red flag. This one did because the title assumes people think in words. Many people do not. They see pictures or their thoughts are like road maps (general overview of many possible conversations, but no details).

Others deal with colours and flavours. One of the big challenges for people who think differently is to translate their pictorial representations into words, as well as take other peoples’ words and translate them into pictorial representations. At the end of the day, the need to translate can leave them mentally exhausted. However, as I read on the above critique doesn’t apply. The author’s point isn’t so much about how to speak as well as you think, but how to structure and order your message to get it across clearly regardless of how you “see” thoughts in your head. It is also about how you present yourself to an audience—how to command the attention of the audience—even if that is an audience of one. Personally, I’d just remove that whole subtitle so as not to distract from the message of the book.

The author’s VOICE (Vocation, Observation, Intention, Casting, Experiment) Methodology is outlined in the Introduction, but the details don’t appear till page 76 (in a 169-page book). He goes on at length about the business voice but buries the lede (to borrow a phrase from journalism). Chapters end with sentences like “Unlocking Your Business Voice is the logical and appropriate next stage in your career development”. Or mentions My Business Voice Methodology®, but doesn’t really explain it. In fact, the first half of the book comes across like an infomercial or that awful book on natural cures “they” don’t want you to know about that doesn’t actually have any natural cures in it: that author is currently serving a 10-yr jail term for criminal contempt related to his fraudulent claims.

Despite the rambling and slightly confusing first part of the book, there are some good bits of advice. For example, “playing it safe with non-verbal communication is a false security because dialing down your body language, contact and facial expressions too much is likely to be interpreted negatively by recipient”. People will see what they want to see—or fear to see—in a neutral face (see The Kuleshov Effect), so bosses playing it neutral to give their employees a voice may actually discourage their voice.

He also recommends hitting people with the conclusion first. Don’t fall in love with your own well-reasoned arguments as you build to a conclusion. People hearing the argument for the first time don’t need to know all the details; they don’t need to have a logical step-by-step process to arrive at the conclusion. Perhaps this advice should be applied to the book because it takes too long to get into the details of the Methodology®. For example on page 116 is the VOICE template. This is the page that should be stuck right in the first few pages of the book! Put this template on page 10 where the generic ambiguous
VOICE is now. Giving people this template will give them the mental “hooks” on which to hang the ideas they find in the book. Perhaps with this template, the chatty rambling in the first half of the book will be less confusing.

And while I’m nitpicking please note that the table on page 17 has the acronym spelling VIOCE (just switch Intention and Observation in that table and it’d be fine). Page 37 continues with a story about “Jerry” except in one paragraph the name is changed to “Scotty”. The paragraph about what science entails is also woefully incorrect. I hope he doesn’t use that example in his classes.

Another good bit of advice that I found useful was “Your intention is a choice you make first in the mind. It is then carried in the language your [sic] use, the simpler the better,…”. At the time I read that I was struggling with a science communication letter. It was down to 8 pages from 15, but I wanted it at a page or two, each paragraph one or two lines for easy reading. When I read the paragraph about intention I realized my intent with the letter was not to persuade the person I was sending it to but to have that person understand how their views unintentionally hurt others. A detailed logical argument wasn’t necessary—I just needed to show how the views were harmful. After that, it was easy to get the letter down to 1.5 pages.

Once de Cintra gets into the VOICE details the book comes together. It is like the author had two books in mind as he wrote, but wasn’t clear on what the first book should be—i.e. his intention wasn’t fully formed. The latter part of the book though has the intention much better formed. There is some excellent advice to follow for speaking to an audience summarized into easily remembered phrases (“Did you take the opportunity to sparkle or did you just deliver the main ingredients?”). There’s also a good section on what he calls “low status” and “high status” behaviours that nicely summarize how to
present yourself to an audience. These are presentation tips that should be taught in all high schools.

I’d give this VOICE detail section 4/5 stars. The first half of the book probably 2/5 stars. Overall, 2.5-3/5 stars. With a bit of reworking of the order of the chapters, removal of some of the earlier material, and jumping right into the details first rather than trying to sell the VOICE methodology this could be a 4 to 5 star book. It has some good advice scattered throughout, and a solid workable outline of learning and applying the VOICE methodology. I can see why people would want to take Simon de Cintra’s courses—there’s some solid working material that everyone can use.

Book Rating: 3/5

You can find the book on Amazon and the author on Twitter!

Disclaimer: This book was sent to us in ebook format to read and give an honest review.


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Book Review: Career Rocket – 101 Tips to Launch Yourself to Success

Chris Connors is back with another review. He has been out and about, super busy with work but found some time to read and review a business book.

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101 Tips to Launch Yourself to Success: Turn the bumpy road of “beginning” into a fast lane to your greatest aspiration (referred to as “Tips” in this review).

Unfortunately, the version of Tips I received was a mangled Mobi so sentences from previous paragraphs were inserted into unrelated paragraphs. A foreword was found at the end along with the Document Outline and a Table of Contents, both of which were the same thing. The Forward also seems like it was written by a different person in a different language, run through a translation program without checking the output, and then mobi-mangled.  It made it difficult to tell at times if the fractured sentences were due to the glitch or the author’s lack of familiarity with the English language.

E.g. “If you received or purchased a copy of this eBook from sources other than [us or [other sources], then that copy The license will be terminated without notice upon breach is a pirated. ”, and “Authentic copies of you shall delete copies of the eBook from your electronic

the eBook can be bought from [www.amazon.com/books].

devices and destroy paper copies of the in your control”. 

And I’m still not sure what the copyright notice was trying to tell me (see below) or the Authentic copies of me. It also seems like it was pasted in from another book. [irony sobs quietly in the corner].

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However, the rest of the book is relatively free from this mangled English. Tips covers some very basic material for people who haven’t yet started on their careers. When I worked with street youth who were in trouble with the law we taught them things like how to do your laundry, how to use a library, how to set up a bank account, how to write a cheque, etc. Tips contains advice that they would also find useful, but that older people would—or should—already know. Send a note of gratitude to your interviewers, keep it brief, polite; always take notes, apply your skills, be a team player, be approachable, etc.

There are also tips that some people who are well into their career don’t apply like, have a bedtime ritual so you can stick with a set bedtime; turn off your phone and computer before bed.

Overall, there are certainly some good tips in there that are, as the author states at the beginning, culled from many other career books and now brought into one place. The weakness from this culling though is that there are sparse details on how to implement these tips as he doesn’t source the books from which he took his ideas.

Example 1:  35. Don’t Settle for One Income has this: SECRET INSIGHT: Freelancing is a great way of supplementing your income if you are strapped for cash and strapped for time. Freelancers set their own schedules and work from home or even over weekends. Be just as dedicated to your freelancing gigs as you are to your day job. Your clients will pay well and even offer you extra jobs in you are hardworking and reliable”. Wonderful idea, but how do I start? If this was sourced the reader could go find more information in that book.

Example 2: SECRET INSIGHT in 45 Friendly First Impressions is “Try to learn everyone’s name”.

It would have been relatively simple to suggest going to the library to pick up a book on remembering names and other items. In addition to sourcing this he could say, for example, Too many people go into a meeting thinking I won’t be able to remember all those new names. They’re right, they won’t, because they’ve already admitted defeat—it is a self-fulfilling prophecy. So go in thinking “I’m going to learn at least three names”. Be sure to use the names in conversation to reinforce it in your own mind. People like to hear their own name; check your local library for books that will help you remember faces and names.

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Like all generic advice some of it will not apply to your situation, as the author also states. For example tip 73 is have a one page resume. That will depend upon the job. I have to write a 5-6 page resume for some jobs.

I personally didn’t find the book helpful. I have concerns about the sourcing in this book–If you’re going to compile advice from other self-help then document your sources so people can go to the source to obtain more information. Plus, you avoid the charge of plagiarism, a charge which is strengthened considerably by the Copyright mess. I’m also confused as to how a book this badly formatted was sent out for review as the butchered format is evident at quick glance. These issues undermine the author’s credibility as he’s not taking his own advice: e.g. Tip 23: Build Your Online Credibility, Tip 72 Observe Everything, and 81 Proofread Your Resume.

Overall, the book concept is solid. The implementation of the concept is flawed.

Book Rating: 1/5

You can find this book on Amazon.

Disclaimer: This was sent to us in e-book format to read and give an honest review.


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Book Review: Practice Makes Purpose by C. Paul Schroeder

A new book review of Practice Makes Purpose: Six Spiritual Practices That Will Change Your Life And Transform Your Community by C. Paul Schroeder. This book was a short read at only 198 pages and had some good insight into life and how to approach it.

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Synopsis: The Six Spiritual Practices are a new formulation of a very old set of teachings and disciplines. If you apply them regularly, you will have more energy and vitality, more focus, more compassion, more clarity, and more joy. And these effects will ripple outward into your marriage and family, your parenting, your workplace, your friendships, your neighborhood and city. These practices will change your life and transform your community. They will connect you and the people around you to Purpose, the experience of belonging to something infinitely greater than ourselves.

This book was interesting. It has a lot of good values and it teaches you to gain purpose through 6 spiritual practices. It is kind of like a self-help book but for re-evaluating your day to day decisions on how to interact in different situations. I mainly found that the 6 practices help a lot with self-control.

The author uses examples of how these steps can help in family life and work life so it makes it relatable. It is a great book for someone that wants to gain access to another side of themselves.

I’m not a big fan of self-help type books but this one was a decent read and easy to get through. If you are looking for some spiritual evaluation, take this book for a spin.

You can find the book on Amazon.

Book Rating: 3/5

Disclaimer: This book was sent to me by the author to read and give an honest review.

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